A How To Guide for LGBTQIA+ Allies
A handy little article to share with your pals
If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’ve probably read about all the awful things our current administration has been doing to the Transgender community. In case you’ve missed it, here are just a few that Axios reported:
“President Trump signed an executive order Wednesday banning trans women and girls from participating in female sports in federally-funded schools, multiple outlets reported.”
“One of the first executive orders Trump issued on Inauguration Day was one declaring that the federal government would only recognize two sexes, male and female.”
A Real Important One: “The president… banned federal funding or support for youth gender-affirming care for those under 19. The order directed the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to publish a review within 90 days of existing literature on best practices for promoting the health of children with gender dysphoria. The order also called for removing federal funding from medical schools and hospitals that research gender-affirming care. Reality check: Major medical organizations, including the American Medical Association, consider gender-affirming care to be medically necessary and potentially lifesaving.”
“Trump also issued an executive order directing the Department of Defense to formulate new policy targeting transgender service members, paving the way for a potential outright ban.”
That’s a lot, right? Feeling overwhelmed? Well, here’s my handy “How To Be An Ally Guide” for this Dumpster Fire Era we’re currently living through.
Do literally anything.
So many Queer and Trans people I know are mentioning the silence they hear. Silence from family members, from friends, from their community, and from their government. Silence from loved ones who maybe texted on Election Day and then never said anything else.
Your silence speaks volumes.
When you choose to not “re-post” that article or Instagram story you read about executive orders related to Trans health care, that’s a choice. When you choose to avoid those articles about Queer rights, that’s a choice.
I want to remind you that people will die if they lose their health care. Without proper access to the medical care they need, people will end their lives. This isn’t just an, “Oh darn, that’s too bad” situation. This is an, “Oh sh*t. What can we do?” situation.
Imagine a teenager who just got the okay (a really long process, I might add) to get on the life-changing Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) they need to feel like themselves, only for it to be taken away. There’s a reason for the phrase, “Death Before Detransition.”
Show up to Queer Spaces & Show your Support.
Now is a great time to visit those Queer-owned businesses. It’s a wonderful time to say, “Thanks for having that Pride flag up in your business. I really appreciate it,” to the places you visit.If you’re worried you’ll take up space by showing up as an ally, just ask. Most websites have a contact form or an Instagram you can DM. Take those few seconds to find out. Your presence could mean a lot to the queer people in your community.
Figure Out a Way to Help.
One of the best things someone has done for us recently was offer to watch our child for an afternoon so we could attempt to calm our nervous systems and grieve without a five-year-old running around.
We appreciate your texts of, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” but we also trust you’re smart enough to offer wonderful things you thought about yourself. Offer to bring a meal, to buy a coffee, to just come over and listen. Offer to go to the movies and get a person’s mind off of things for a moment or to just go for a walk. There’s so much you can do that doesn’t cost anything. At the end of the day, Queer and Transgender people want to feel like they’re not alone.Do Your Own Damn Research.
Libraries exist. Go to one and find some books on what it means to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Pop open YouTube. Watch videos from Transgender creators. If you’re like, “Oh, I should ask my Transgender buddy what I should read!” maybe give them a break.
Google these things yourself.
Your Queer and Transgender friends are all really busy right now screaming into pillows, crying in their cars, and doomscrolling on their phones.Be a Visible Ally
In case you didn’t know, there are flags you can buy and pins you can wear along with stickers you can plaster on things. You don’t actually have to be gay to show pride and support. If you have some internalized homophobia you’re still working through, you can even get merch that just says, “ally” with a pride flag on it.
Screenshot from Gay Pride Apparel website
I know what you might be thinking. “Wow, Summer, this is kinda snarky.”
You’re right, it is.
Because honestly, I’m really angry. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of screaming into an empty void and trying to convince people that Queer and Transgender folks matter.
It’s your job to step up now.
To show you care.
Because we’re really fucking tired.
